


Eyes On Me

by orphan_account



Category: Rockman X | Mega Man X
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Gender Dysphoria, Gender reassignment surgery, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Sexual Fantasy, Soft bodies, Trans Male Character, Very humanlike robots, zero is a good boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-29 20:47:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12093117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Disclaimer: It's in the tags but I wanted to reiterate that this fic deals with feelings of gender dysphoria. Please read with caution if you think depictions of dysphoria during sexual activity, or in general, might upset you.Unbeta'd, so minor changes (in grammar) may happen.





	Eyes On Me

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: It's in the tags but I wanted to reiterate that this fic deals with feelings of gender dysphoria. Please read with caution if you think depictions of dysphoria during sexual activity, or in general, might upset you. 
> 
> Unbeta'd, so minor changes (in grammar) may happen.

X had always carried a fondness for humans that ran much deeper than the call of duty required for a Maverick Hunter. In addition to protecting them, X strived to understand them, and he knew to understand them was, in a way, to understand himself. A deep love for literature stemmed from X's fascination, and it was not long before many nights found him hunched over his desk with his nose buried in an assortment of books ranging from encyclopedias to novels and everything in between. 

X had begun making weekly visits to Abel City's library. After perusing the shelves in search of new material one evening, he picked up a thickly bound upper-level university textbook titled _Human Anatomy & Physiology_ and flipped through the contents with increasing curiosity. Although he was well-versed in Reploid programming from his days spent as Cain's lab assistant, biology had been the Doctor's area of expertise. He carried the book and a short stack of others back to his quarters at the Hunter base. 

He was feeling relieved that he hadn't run into Zero on the way, when an unmistakable voice called out to him: “Don't you think it would be easier to download digital versions?” 

X sucked in a breath. _Zero._ The red Hunter sauntered over and placed his hand on the wall behind X's head, grinning down at him. X hugged the armful of books closer to his chest. 

“Yeah, probably,” replied X, trying not to blush under Zero's piercing blue gaze. “But I enjoy reading print. It's different. It's more...” he paused, searching for the right word. 

“Cumbersome?” suggested Zero, smirking playfully. 

“Organic,” X corrected, glaring at him so intensely that Zero backed off. 

“Sorry, sorry,” mumbled Zero, waving his hands in surrender. He shrugged, “I just thought it would be faster that way.” 

“I'm not in a hurry,” said X, but contrary to what he had said, he took the opportunity to slip past Zero and bolt towards his room. “Catch you later, Zero!” he called over his shoulder. If Zero replied, X was already out of earshot. 

Once inside, X leaned against the door for a moment while his heartbeat slowed. He did not want to ditch his friend, but Zero liked to ask a lot of questions, and X thought his interest in anatomy might be a hard one to explain. 

He made sure to disable the use of security overrides on the door's lock before removing his armor and picking out a pair of civilian clothes, a thick sweater and loose pajama pants. He paused briefly to look down at himself, and frowned. His chest plate did well to cover his breasts; they were small enough to disappear beneath the armor, making him look completely flat-chested. But whenever he undressed, X was forced to recognize the body he hated and the parts of him that he rejected as his own. He grimaced and yanked the sweater on. 

After taking a few deep breaths, X sat down with his new book and his anxiety faded. He absorbed each chapter like a sponge, partitioning the information in his brain as he sped through the contents. He learned that the intricate map of wires and circuits inside himself was astoundingly similar to the layout of veins and nerves inside the human body, and although the technical functionality of a Repoid's artificial organs varied from those of human organs, it seemed that the brain and the heart served virtually the same purposes. 

X's head was swimming by the time he reached the chapter on reproduction. His heartbeat sped up while he poured over the elaborate, full-page illustrations of human anatomy, inside and out. It seemed like most everything else about the human body was identical across the sexes, but this chapter emphasized the differences between male and female sex organs. It troubled him that own body type was identified in the text as female; just reading the word left him feeling claustrophobic and exposed at the same time. X had always assumed he was male, too. At least no one had ever told him otherwise. 

X tried to shake his unease and skip to the next chapter, but he could not concentrate. He closed the book with a groan and decided to call it a night, but when he crawled into bed and plugged in his recharger, he found that sleep eluded him. His eyes were tired and his neck was stiff, but his mind ran wild with unanswered questions and random bits of knowledge that he had yet to digest. Even after he switched his optics off, he thought that he could see phantom words scrolling behind his eyelids. Perhaps this unique fatigue was a side effect of reading print. 

X recalled that another similarity Reploids had to humans was the synthetic production of endorphins that followed sexual release and numbed the mind. Although Reploids had no functional use for genitals, as reproduction was as unnecessary as it was impossible, it was no secret that many chose to have sex for pleasure. X didn't feel particularly in the mood—the opposite, really—but if it might calm him down enough to sleep, he could at least try. In the quiet safety of his room, X let his hands roam to places that he tended to avoid. He slipped one hand down the front of his pants and started stroking his thighs. He shivered as his fingertips crept closer to the slit between his legs, and gasped when a knuckle brushed against the sensitive nub of flesh above his vagina. He rubbed his clit between his thumb and forefinger, arching his back as his abdominal muscles tightened and spasmed. When he finally slid his fingers down the center of the slit, he felt moisture collecting on his fingertips. 

X tried to feel instead of think, and found that as long as he could focus purely on pleasure, he could almost detach his sense of touch from its response. A vision of Zero suddenly flashed through X's mind and set his body on fire. He had not planned on fantasizing about his best friend and long-time crush, but if it could make this endeavor more bearable, he did not see the harm in doing it just this once. 

X rubbed his clit and imagined Zero's strong, skilled, confident hand instead. He circled the nub with his index finger and imagined that Zero was swirling his tongue around the head of X's cock as it stood upright between his legs. The visualization paired the hot sparks from physical contact made X's vulva ache. He gritted his teeth and hissed as he slid an uncertain finger inside. He hit a spongy bundle of nerves and immediately clenched around his finger. He then added another and curled the digits upwards. Colors burst behind his eyelids and a loud whine escaped his throat before he could stop it.

“Zero...” he whispered, pleading for more. When X worked a third finger in, he imagined Zero's cock resting inside of him. “Fuck me,” he rasped, and began to move his fingers in and out. 

He raised his hips and thrusted with increasing speed. He growled, “Harder,” and fucked himself roughly, and when he squeezed his thighs together he imagined holding Zero's hips in place to savor the feeling of being filled. X was hopelessly lost in his fantasy. He imagined Zero leaning over him with his arms on both sides of X's head. He wanted to see Zero shaking with desperation. He wanted to feel Zero's hot breath against his face, and to hear his ragged panting while he gave himself up to X and X alone. 

X felt the telltale signs of his orgasm building up inside like hot coils threatening to unwind at any second. His wrist ached as he used his remaining strength to fuck himself past the limit. X opened his mouth to scream but no sound came out. He arched up off the bed as his orgasm tore through him, flooding his entire body with molten heat that started in his belly and radiated outwards. 

When he finally pulled his hand away, X felt the release of hot liquid rush down his thighs and seep into the back of his pants. X brought his sticky hand to his lips and pretended he was sucking Zero's fingers clean. He nuzzled his own palm before letting it fall limply across his chest. Anxiety crept its way back into X's heart and his cheeks burned with shame. 

As his breathing returned to normal, he realized that he was crying. Fuck, X wanted so much to have the real thing. But even if Zero returned his feelings, X wondered if he would ever allow himself to be touched. It seemed the only way he could be with Zero was in his fantasies, but the guilt was too much to bear. X felt unlovable, and it was nobody's fault but his own.

* * *

The next day came too soon. As X's systems rebooted, the memory of last night came flooding back to him in vivid detail. He tried smothering his face in a pillow, but it did not help, so he dragged himself to the shower. He kept his arms crossed over his chest while the sonic waves washed away his shame. By the time he dressed himself in full armor, he realized he was late to morning drills. Relief overshadowed his disappointment; his thighs ached and his attention was anywhere but on his duties. Still, X made his way down to the training field, staring at his feet the whole way there.

By the time he walked out on the field there were only a few Hunters who had stayed past the session to continue practicing. Some sparred with each other while others wailed on training dummies or shot targets from afar. His heart skipped a beat when he noticed that Zero was among them. 

X was more than happy to watch on in silence, studying Zero's form as he swung his saber through the air. Zero's eyes were closed in deep concentration as he dashed around the courtyard, slashing at invisible enemies that only he could see. When they fought together, X never had the opportunity to sit back and appreciate every deliberate motion of Zero's graceful dance. But now, every twist and turn revealed to X the perfectly sculpted build of his partner's frame, synthetic skin pulled taught over rippling muscles barely hidden under his tight bodysuit. X had to look away before the temptational heat that pooled in his stomach traveled any lower. 

When he looked up again, Zero had opened his eyes and was staring directly at X. He deactivated his saber and jogged across the field, still panting heavily from his strenuous workout. 

“We missed you this morning, X!” he called out. He removed his helmet and shook his head, his mane of golden hair swishing behind him. 

“I wasn't feeling well,” said X. At least it wasn't a complete lie. 

“Yeah?” inquired Zero, leaning forward to study X's face for a moment, “Did you recharge at all last night? You look like shit.” 

“Wow, thanks,” scoffed X, “And no, not really.”

“Hey, someone's gotta tell it to you like it is. C'mon, walk with me.” Zero slung his arm over X's shoulders before the Hunter had time to protest. He would not have anyway, but the sudden contact startled him and he almost tripped trying to keep up with Zero as they walked inside. 

“So, what are you up to today?” asked Zero, hopefully. 

“I thought I might go back to the library,” said X. 

“Oh. You've been going there a lot lately,” said Zero, more of a statement than a response. X's heart sank a little when he heard the disappointment in Zero's voice. 

“I know,” said X, hanging his head, “I've been doing a lot of....thinking.”

“Is that why you ran away from me last night?” asked Zero, stopping in his tracks and dropping his arm from X's shoulders. When X saw his expression, he wanted shrink away and hide. He had not even considered how his behavior might be affecting his friend. They had, in fact, been spending less time together since X had begun his quest for knowledge, and he vaguely wondered if the whole thing was really just a poor excuse to avoid Zero altogether. 

“Is it?” repeated Zero, bending down to eye level and lifting X's chin towards him with a fingertip. X bit his lower lip; Zero was way too close for him to think of anything intelligent to say. 

“I don't know,” mumbled X, “I think I've gone in over my head.” 

Zero frowned. “What does that mean? Do you wanna talk about it?” 

“I...I don't know,” X choked out. He wanted to run away. He wanted someone to talk to. He wished he could spill everything, from his insecurities about his body to the massive, raging crush he had been harboring since god-knows-how-long. Instead, just stood there stiffly. Zero backed away and sighed. 

“I'll come by your room later tonight, okay?” offered Zero, “We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but I wanna see you, X. I miss you.” Zero then turned on his heel and walked back in the direction from which they came, leaving X behind in the empty hallway. 

“I miss you, too,” X said to the empty hallway.

* * *

The clock was nearing 21:00 and Zero still had not shown up. X had given up waiting and reclined on his bed in his sweater and freshly washed pajamas, skimming through a tattered paperback novel with waning interest. Perhaps he should recharge early and catch up on the sleep he missed on the night prior. He had just set the book aside when the sound of the door sliding opening made X jump so high that he almost toppled off the side of the bed.

“Sorry I'm late,” Zero announced, walking in like he lived there. He immediately shed his armor and pulled on a pair of X's sweatpants that were too short for him in the ankles. X averted his eyes, and when he looked back he saw that Zero had not bothered finding a shirt. “There was a scuffle down at the training grounds tonight. No one got hurt, but the amount of paperwork I had to do made it feel like someone got retired.” 

X swallowed the lump in his throat and forced a little laugh. “It's good to see you,” he said with a smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. Zero was beautiful, the opposite of how X felt that evening. 

“You too,” said Zero, sitting cross-legged on the opposite side of the bed. He reached over and ruffled X's already messy brown hair. X giggled and swatted the hand away. 

“I'm sorry about earlier,” said X, “I've been stressed out lately and I didn't mean to take it out on you, but....that's exactly what did.” 

“Thanks, X,” said Zero, smiling, “Apology accepted.” He rested his chin in one hand. “So, tell me what's been on your mind.” 

X sighed. “I've been reading,” he began, retracing the steps that brought him here. He waited for a reply, for Zero to chew him out for reading too much, but Zero just kept his stupidly handsome eyes pinned on X while he sat quietly. X drew his knees up to his chest, looking absolutely grim. “I got back from the library last night and I was so excited to start this new book and it was so interesting but then there was this one part—“

“Whoa there, breathe,” Zero interrupted, placing a hand on X's knee. The hand was warm and solid and it held X together while he fell apart. 

X took a couple of deep breaths and continued, “Okay. So, there was a chapter on human reproduction. And after I read it, I felt....embarrassed. Uncomfortable. Like I wasn't the person I thought I was.” 

“You're not a person, for starters,” said Zero, and X panicked. There was no way he would understand. There would no way he possibly could. 

X opened and closed his mouth several times. Whenever he thought he found the words, they dissolved on his tongue. He looked down at Zero's hand, still resting on his knee. He could trust Zero. They not be in this position, let alone in this room at this time, if he could not. 

“I just don't know what Dr. Light was thinking when he created me. This body was modeled after a human female's. I don't think he meant for me to be a boy, and yet...” X's voice sounded foreign in his own ears. Something dislodged itself from inside his heart, something that had been sitting dormant for a very long time. He scrunched up his face and began to cry. 

Zero's brain lagged a bit before he realized what X had meant. He scooted forwards on his knees and wrapped his arms around X. X's whole body shook as he sobbed into Zero's neck. 

“X,” whispered Zero. X braced himself for when Zero would inevitably tell him that everything would be okay, as if he could possibly know, as if it was that simple, but it never came. Zero gently repeated X's name, grounding him while he rubbed his back and stroked his hair. Relief washed over X; he couldn't think of anything that could be spoken that would have been more comforting in that moment. 

“I don't know what's wrong with me,” whimpered X, hiccuping when he came up for air, “I didn't mean to freak out like this. I'm sorry, Zero. I'm a mess.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Zero reassured him, “If something is troubling you, I don't want you to suffer alone. I want to help you, so please, X, help me understand.” 

“What if I can't put it into words?” X worried, sitting back on his heels. 

“Try,” pressed Zero, stroking his thumb over X's tear-stained cheek. 

“Okay,” breathed X. He wiped his face on his sleeve and sniffled, blinking the last of the tears out of his eyes. “I've been uncomfortable in this body since....well, ever since I can remember. I hate having breasts. I have not having, y'know, _other_ parts. I just never realized there was an explanation for what I've been feeling. I thought it was selfish, so I've never told anyone about it. I don't think there has ever been another case like mine in Reploid history.” 

“Jeez, X, I think you put it into words pretty well,” said Zero, looking bewildered, “I don't totally get it, but....I'm glad you told me. That's a heavy load to carry by yourself.” 

“There's a reason I didn't tell you before,” X said, and immediately wished he had not. He imagined standing at the top of a waterfall, so high up that he could not see the bottom. He took a deep breath, and dove in. 

“I....I'm jealous, okay? I want what you have. Your confidence in yourself. Parts that work like they're supposed to. And I hate how you can just sit there, shirtless, looking pretty whenever you damn well please. I feel like I'm just some unfinished prototype next to you. You frustrate me, Zero, and you don't even realize it.” 

Zero's eyes widened for a moment. “Well, I do now,” he said solemnly, “You're....still angry at me, then?” 

“No,” said X, staring at his feet, “Just at myself for taking it out on you.” 

Zero huffed and shook his head. He reached for a blanket and draped it over his shoulders. X smiled weakly; Zero's consideration meant the world to him. 

“If that body of yours got trashed today,” said Zero, “I would scour the earth for your essential parts and rebuild you the way you wanted to be. You're X, my partner, my best friend.” 

“Zero...” gasped X. He never thought he would hear Zero wax poetic. 

“And, for what it's worth, I never doubted that you were a boy since the day we met, and a damn cute one, too.” 

It was X's turn to stare wide-eyed at the other Hunter. “That's not funny,” he snapped. 

“I'm not trying to be,” insisted Zero. Sure enough, when X stared back into those bottomless blue eyes, he knew Zero was being honest. 

“I know,” he sighed, “I can tell when you're lying.” 

“And you think I'm pretty.” 

“Don't let it go to your head.” 

“Too late.”

X's smiled at the return of their usual pattern of light, playful banter. He felt the tightness leave his chest and let his shoulders fall from where they were bunched uncomfortably around his ears. 

“You know,” said X, “That isn't a half bad idea.” 

“What, thinking that you're cute, or that I'm pretty?” teased Zero. 

X's cheeks flushed bright red. “No! I meant the part about rebuilding me.”

Zero chuckled. “Well, yeah. Did you forget that you're an android or something? What's a couple of body modifications compared to the hundreds of parts that get blown off and replaced around here each quarter?” 

X should not have laughed at that, but he could not help it. He covered his mouth and kept laughing, earning him a curious look from Zero. 

“What?” asked Zero, a little concerned. X had just been crying his eyes out, and now he was trembling with laughter. 

“I was just so overwhelmed that I didn't even consider it an option.” 

Zero snorted. “Of course you didn't. Your heart acts faster than your brain, buddy, always has.” 

When X had finally caught his breath, he scooted over to sit beside Zero. Zero put his arm out so X could duck under the blanket and snuggle against his side. 

“I'll talk to the head physician for you, if you want,” offered Zero. 

X shook his head. “No. This is something I have to do myself.” 

“Okay, but if you need anything from me, just say so.” Zero put his arm around X's waist, careful to avoid touching any sensitive spots. 

“Be here when I wake up?” asked X, hopefully, leaning his head on Zero's shoulder. Up until that evening, X had been running away from almost every opportunity he had to be alone with Zero, but now he could not imagine being anywhere but by his side. 

“Yeah, I can do that,” said Zero, but when he looked down, X had already drifted into sleep mode.

* * *

The weeks leading up to X's upgrade had crept by agonizingly slow. Since X's body was unique, the parts needed to perform the upgrade had to be made to order. Thus, it took some time to prepare, but due to the low number of repairs currently in queue, it was not long before his parts were finished.

“Are you nervous?” asked Zero as he sat with X in the waiting room of the medical bay. The time had finally come, and Zero had been asking questions like that for days; it seemed like he was more concerned than X was. And Zero told X that _he_ worried too much. 

“Not really,” said X for the umpteenth time. He smiled and shrugged, “It's strange, but I feel calmer than I have all month.” 

X's mind had been occupied by wondering how it would feel to wake up. He could not know until it happened, but he knew that whatever it was, it would be better than how it had been. Years spent wondering what was wrong with himself had finally reached their end. He could now face the guilt and bury with the ungratefulness he felt towards Dr. Light for giving him this body with no explanation why. 

“X?” called one of the nurses, poking their head out the door, “We're ready for you. Come on in.” 

“This is it!” cried X, beaming excitedly. “Don't worry about me too much, okay?” 

Zero crossed his arms. “Tch, they better do a good job on you.” 

“I'm sure they will. They put you back together, didn't they?” X turned around and waved, but Zero grabbed his hand before he could walk away. 

“Wait, X. I....I love you,” Zero blurted out, blushing and clamping his other hand over his own mouth. It was the first time X had heard him say it, but the way he did already felt so familiar, so natural. 

X spun around and reproached Zero, giggling at his misplaced embarrassment. “I love you, too,” he said, leaning up to kiss Zero's cheek. “Try to relax. I'll see you in a few hours.” 

X hugged Zero and gave him a quick squeeze before following the nurse inside, disappearing behind the door.

* * *

When X rebooted, his systems struggled to come online in slow succession. His optics were unfocused and he could only see blurry shapes moving around him, but he would recognize that long, golden hair anywhere.

“Zero?” croaked X, “What are you doing here? The operation is supposed to start soon...”

“What are you talking about?” laughed Zero, leaning on his elbows over the bedside, “The operation is over. You've been out for almost four hours. Welcome back, buddy.” 

“How'd it go?” asked X, weakly. He tried to sit up, but he felt as though all his energy had been drained, even though he was plugged in and charging. He tried looking down at himself instead, but his body was covered by a sheet. It was all so disorienting. 

“Everything is as it should be,” said a voice on the other side of the bed. X recognized it as the surgeon's, but did not take his eyes off Zero. “The procedure went as planned with no complications. You will stay here overnight so we can observe you, but your self-repair systems should take care of the rest.” 

“Ugh,” groaned X, struggling to comprehend anything the doctor had said, “Why can't I move?” 

“We cut power to your body for the time being. Your nanites are working overtime to accelerate the healing process. This would otherwise cause you a lot of pain.” 

“Oh,” X acknowledged. Still, he uselessly tried to wiggle his fingers. 

“How do you feel?” asked Zero. X's optics adjusted and those handsome blue eyes came into focus. 

“Uh....tired?” said X. He knew that was not the answer Zero was looking for, but his brain felt foggy and it was hard enough to speak in simple phrases. 

“Yes, you will feel tired for a few days,” said the surgeon, “It is important that you let yourself rest. Your systems will prioritize acclimating your new parts to the rest of your body, so you will have little energy to do anything else.” 

“I'll make sure he stays put, doc,” said Zero, dutifully. 

“Thank you, Zero,” replied the surgeon, “I have to get back to my other patients now, but if you need anything, just ask one of the nurses. It was a pleasure working with you, X.”

Before X could conjure up a single word of gratitude, the doctor turned and exited the room. 

“Need anything?” asked Zero, brushing a hand through X's hair. At least X could feel that. He sighed contently, closing his eyes. 

“I think I need to go to sleep,” X mumbled. 

“That's probably a good idea,” agreed Zero. He tucked the sheet in around X's shoulders and laid his own head down on the pillow beside X. X went into hibernation mode, and Zero went idle.

* * *

The next few days were a whirlwind. X never knew if he was waking up or going to sleep. He had a vague memory of being maneuvered into a wheelchair and pushed inside a room that was not his own. When he woke up in Zero's bed, Zero insisted that it would be easier to keep an eye on him there.

X body ached but not as badly as he expected. He could sit up and walk just fine, although his joints were stiff from temporary disuse. Having picked a time when he knew Zero would be gone for a few hours, X disrobed in front of the bathroom mirror. He did not bow his head or avert his eyes. For the first time he saw himself, and did not feel shame. 

X touched his chest and pressed his palms over the flat pectoral muscles he had always dreamed of having. He had to wonder if he was still dreaming, but no, he could not be. Even in his dreams he felt worry and guilt, but this.... _this_ was happiness. He rolled his shoulders back and he could actually breathe, watching his chest rise and fall with every inhale and exhale. Under close examination, X noticed there was still some scarring around the seams, but it was not painful when he stretched his arms and twisted his torso. 

He looked down and his eyes settled on his penis. He reached between his thighs to give himself an experimental squeeze, and oh, _oh._ So that's what it felt like. He had feared that having something there might take some time getting used to, but it already felt like a natural extension of his body. It reacted to his touches, filling with artificial blood and growing firmer in X's hand. His heartbeat quickened and he was struck by the possibility of doing something he had always wished he could do. 

X returned to the bedroom, propped himself up on some pillows and took himself in hand. He ran an experimental finger over the slit on top of it, but then he noticed that the underside of his cock was much more sensitive. X stroked it until his erection stood upright between his legs. He made a fist and moved it up and down the shaft, humming softly as the tight heat in his abdomen expanded. X paused to admire the pink flush that tinged his cock. It was bigger now than it was when it rested softly between his legs, and that alone sent a twinge of pleasure to his groin. He started to wonder about Zero's reaction...

X startled when he heard someone cough behind him and he whipped his head around to see Zero standing in the doorway. His entire face was red, his pupils were dilated and his mouth hung slightly open. X quickly wrapped himself in a sheet and started laughing nervously. 

“Hi, Zero,” he said, smiling coyly. He swung his legs over the side of the bed. 

“Hi,” echoed Zero, intelligently. His eyes glazed over with unbridled lust, as if his desire had been suppressed for so long that it threatened to burst forth and consume him. X felt his own inhibitions slip away, and wondered if he had ever been more attracted to Zero than in the moment when he could finally have him. 

“So....you wanna do this?” X suggested. 

Zero nodded eagerly. “You know damn well I do,” he growled. 

“Then keep your eyes on me,” X commanded, his voice sure and steady. He stood, letting the sheet slip off his shoulders and onto the floor. There was a newfound confidence in the way he held the warrior's gaze. 

“Yes, sir,” breathed Zero, and the raw desperation in his voice sent a chill down X's spine, just as Zero failed to hide the shiver that seized his body at the sight of X's newly sculpted form. 

The tension between them was electric. X wondered how long Zero would just stare; would he make the first move, or would he wait for X to tell him to? The prospect of the latter thrilled him, but an agonizing thirty seconds passed before X decided that he could not wait to find out. 

“Come here before you overheat,” said X, smiling as he beckoned Zero forward. 

Zero swept across the floor so fast that he almost tripped over X's feet. He raised his hands, but hesitated. X could feel the heat coming off them as they hovered over his chest in askance for permission to touch. 

“Go ahead,” crooned X, standing on tiptoe to speak against Zero's lips. He made quick work of Zero's shirt, pulling it off over his head and tossing it aside. He then grabbed one of Zero's wrists and pressed the palm to his chest. Zero exhaled shakily, earning a soft chuckle from X. “Heh, I didn't think you would be the nervous one.” 

“Not nervous,” insisted Zero, “Just taking in the sight of you. Can't blame me, X, you're gorgeous.”

X felt his cheeks burn. _Gorgeous,_ something he thought he would never be to anyone. He wrapped his arms around Zero's neck and pressed their bare chests together as he kissed him. X barely poked his tongue out before Zero's lips yielded and Zero's tongue coaxed X's further into his mouth. 

Zero rested his hand on X's hips, stroking the hipbones before yanking them flush against his own. X felt the bulge in Zero's pants rub against his cock, and he held on tight in fear that his knees might give out. 

“I want you,” X gasped into Zero's mouth. Zero responded by spinning around and flopping backwards onto the bed, pulling X down on top of him with a small yelp. 

“How do you want me?” asked Zero, but then X found himself speechless. Only in his fantasies did he dream of seeing Zero from this angle, beaming up at him through lust-filled eyes and his golden hair splayed across the pillow. He rested his forehead against Zero's as his head began to spin. 

“You okay?” whispered Zero, stroking a thumb over X's temple. 

“Very,” replied X, panting softly, “Just keep kissing me.” 

Zero happily obliged, gently gripping the back of X's head and licking his way into X's mouth. Their kisses got sloppier as they lost themselves in each other, their lips slick with saliva. X ducked his head to lap drool from beneath Zero's chin, but got distracted as he mouthed his way down Zero's throat. He began kissing and biting and sucking the synthetic skin on Zero's neck and shoulders, overwhelmed by the need to mark every inch of it and mesmerized by the little red welts that disappeared almost instantly. Zero squeezed his eyes shut, trying to endure the assault on his nerves without making too much noise. X continued to explore the vast expanse of pale skin, cataloging the spots that made Zero's body tense and shiver—behind his ears, the hollow of his neck, and his collarbone in particular. 

X melted against Zero as they tentatively rocked their hips together. Zero gasped in time with their desperate thrusting, his cock straining inside his pants. The fact that X could make Zero's body react this way was enough to drive the Hunter crazy, and in combination with Zero's soft whines and needy touches, X felt like his systems might crash at any moment. 

“ _Mine,_ ” X purred possessively around a mouthful of Zero's earlobe. 

Zero grabbed X's hand, pressed it to his heart and whispered, “Yes, I'm yours, X. Tell me what you want me to do.” 

“Show me,” said X, sitting up and reaching for Zero's waistband. Zero wiggled and raised his hips a little, making it easier for X to tug his pants and underwear down past his thighs. Zero's erection sprung free from the elastic and flopped onto his stomach. 

X paused to gawk at his partner, stretched out on the bed before him. Zero, who was usually so assertive and dominant, then lied exposed at X's mercy. Yet the warrior was still very capable, and the fact that he chose to obey X's every command ignited a type of frenzied lust that the young Hunter had never experienced before. 

“Show me,” X repeated, swallowing hard, “Show me how you jerk yourself off, Zero.” 

“O-okay,” choked Zero, the brazen lewdness of X's command apparently robbing him of anything coherent to say. Zero grabbed hold of his cock, his eyes fluttering shut once began to stroke himself. 

“No. Look at me,” ordered X, “Do not take your eyes off me until you're done.” 

Zero pried his eyes open with a whimper and did as he was told. X flashed him an absolutely wicked grin, hopefully conveying his enjoyment as he watched Zero's hand speed up along with the rise and fall of his chest. He felt Zero wriggling beneath him as he began to thrust upward into his hand. Zero's breathing was shaky and his movements were jittery and X could not keep his hands to himself any longer. He nudged Zero's hand away with his own and wrapped it around Zero's cock instead. 

X hummed while he rubbed and squeezed in different places, letting Zero's insistent noises guide him. He tried to mimic the technique he saw Zero use, twisting his hand and flicking his wrist, smirking with self-satisfaction when Zero began to buck his hips. 

“I can't even tell you, _h-hahh_ —how long I've, _shit,_ wanted this— _ahh!_ ” Zero rasped, his voice cracking on almost every other word. His hips jerked erratically and X felt his palm grow slick with precum that dribbled from the tip. All of Zero's gasps and whimpers shot downwards and made X's groin throb almost painfully. He squeezed his thighs together and rubbed himself against Zero's hipbone, but he couldn't get enough friction to alleviate the ache. 

“X, X,” gasped Zero, throwing his head back and arching up off the bed as self-restraint slipped further and further away. X gaped at Zero's flushed, gorgeous face as tears welled up in his eyes from the effort it took to keep them open, maintaining contact because X told him to. 

“Cum for me, Zero,” commanded X and, as if responding to a voice-activated command, Zero came. Hot, white liquid shot from his cock in short spurts with every pulse while it throbbed in X's hand. It streaked across Zero's belly, sticking to his pale skin as it cooled. X almost forgot about his own neglected arousal as he sat back on Zero's thighs to admire the beautiful mess that he made. 

“Give me....a minute,” wheezed Zero, gasping for air. He lazily cleaned himself off with the corner of the sheet. “And sit on the edge of the bed.” 

“Why?” X asked, curiously, hoping the answer was not too obvious. 

“ _Why?_ ” repeated Zero—apparently it was—propping himself up on his elbows and giving X an incredulous look, “Because I'm going to suck your dick, that's why.” 

“ _Oh!_ Oh, god, okay,” stammered X, blushing deeply at his own inexperience. He scrambled to the side of the bed, soon followed by Zero, who kicked his pants the rest of the way off and dropped to his knees on the floor between X's legs. 

“Fuck, X,” Zero whispered in awe upon seeing X's penis up close. He trailed kisses up X's thigh and shamelessly nuzzled his balls. “They did a real nice job on you.”

X giggled, “Really?” He was pleased with the operation himself, but to hear it from Zero only boosted his confidence. “I....I'm really glad you think so.” 

X felt Zero's hot breath against his groin. Zero's pupils dilated again, his eyes wide with hunger. He looked up at X, pleadingly. “Can I?”

“Yeah, I trust you,” said X, shifting his hips so he sat on the very edge of the bed. He was ready to give control to Zero, permission to manipulate his body in whatever way he deemed fit. This transfer of power, and the trust that enabled him to do so, set X's fretful mind at ease on a level of consciousness he had rarely tapped into prior. 

Zero nodded, and without another word he kissed the tip of X's cock. X watched him play with the moisture dripping from the slit, smearing it across his lips before licking them clean. He circled the head with his tongue then closed his lips around the head, sucking gently. X whimpered. Zero's mouth was warm and wet and it took great self-control to resist fucking it. 

“C'mon,” whined X, “You can go harder than that. You aren't gonna break me, you know.” Not like X had any idea what his new parts were actually capable of. He almost shrieked when Zero's tongue pressed firmly against the sensitive underside of his cock, tracing the vein down to the base and up again. X threw his head back with a gasp and _felt_ more than heard Zero chuckle around his cock. 

When X looked down again, Zero stared up at him through blue eyes and blond lashes, his hollowed cheeks bright red and pink lips swollen. X swore he saw the smirk in Zero's eyes when he palmed X's balls, curling his fingers around the sac and giving them a gentle squeeze. The sloppy sounds of wet skin on skin filled the room as Zero took more and more of X into his mouth, moving his head up and down while massaging the full length with his tongue. 

“Zero,” whispered X. He recognized the telltale heat in his abdomen, and assumed that the contracting of his balls meant he was close. He gripped Zero's hair in one hand and gave it a firm tug. Zero reluctantly slid off his cock. His eyes were half-lidded and his tongue lolled out. X lost his voice for a moment, mesmerized by the thick trail of saliva mixed with precum that connected Zero's tongue to the tip of his cock. If that wasn't the hottest goddamn thing he had ever seen...

“I think I...I'm gonna cum, Zero—!” X choked out, considerately thinking to warn Zero before it happened. 

Zero licked his lips and grinned. “Good. Shoot it down my throat, X. And keep your eyes on me.” 

X shivered from head to toe. He had rightfully assumed that Zero would be dirty, but he used that foul mouth like a weapon. X decided then that it would not be his fault if he came on the spot because of it. He tightened his hold on Zero's hair and, like a pet on a short leash, pulled Zero forward until he felt that hot, hot heat close around himself again. 

Zero stroked the base of X's cock while he sucked twice as hard and twice as fast as before. X squeezed Zero's head between his trembling thighs. He bit down on his fist to keep from crying out, but as the tension in his loins unraveled, he couldn't stifle the sound that tore from his throat. His orgasm crested, and X shattered into a million pieces. 

Tears streamed down X's cheeks from the stress it took to keep them open. He felt Zero's throat contract around his cock as he effortlessly swallowed around it. He watched trails of drool and cum dribble down Zero's chin and onto his chest. Zero finally let X's softening cock fall from his lips and sighed contently, resting his cheek against X's thigh. 

The sounds of labored breathing filled the room. They shared a speechless moment until Zero spoke, “All systems functioning at one-hundred percent.” 

X covered his face with both hands and fell victim to a fit of almost silent laughter. He rolled onto his side, facing away from Zero as embarrassment caught up with him once the heat of the moment died down. He thought of all those desperate sounds that Zero had wrung out of him and the ridiculous faces he must have made. X started retreating into the little void in his head where his anxiety lived, but then he felt himself being hauled into two strong arms. 

“Hey, look at me,” said Zero, but this time it wasn't an order. His voice sounded sweet and persuading in its own gentle way. X dropped his hands and met tired blue eyes with his droopy, unfocused stare. Zero had cleaned his face off but his breath still smelled faintly of ejaculatory fluid, distinct but unpleasant, X noticed. 

“Sorry,” said Zero, “Was that too much?” 

“No,” replied X, “I....well, some parts were a little overwhelming, but just because you're so good at _everything._ I like that you let me have control.”

Zero laughed warmly. “I never thought you would be the one to order me around in the bedroom, but I like it, too.”

X blinked a few times in succession. “So you _have_ thought about it before.”

“You say that as if you expected to seduce me overnight. _Of course_ I've thought about it, X. I just wanted you to come to me when you were ready.”

“You walked in on me,” X pointed out, smiling coyly. 

“While you were jerking off in my room, naked, in my bed,” countered Zero. 

“I wanted you so much, it hurt,” said X, solemnly, “But I didn't think you'd want me. I felt wrong, I was incomplete. I was....a real mess.” 

“Listen to me, X,” said Zero sternly, taking one of X's hands between his own, “I know trying to talk you out of your feelings doesn't work—that's one of the things I like about you. But trust me, whatever you were scared of didn't make me want you any less. It wasn't your body I fell in love with, it was just you. Everything that frustrated me about you, the things I didn't understand, made me want to know you better. And your strong will, your unwavering kindness to all things....that made me want to stay.”

X's heart swelled with such abundant joy and profound sorrow that he felt like it would break. Tears fell on the pillow and shook his head in spite of himself. “I want to believe it,” he sobbed, cupping Zero's cheek with his free hand, “I trust that everything you said is true, but I still....at this point, It might take time before I can accept it.” 

“That's okay,” reassured Zero, “I love you so goddamn much, and I'll say it as many times as I have to.” 

X sniffled and smiled despite the tears. “I'll start counting,” he said. 

X's body felt heavy, sore but relaxed. He was content to lie in Zero's presence with no fabric between them. No more secrets, no more shame. He stopped struggling to keep his eyelids open any longer and closed them, curling up and nudging his head under Zero's chin. 

“Zero?” X asked, softly. 

Zero yawned. “Yeah?”

“I just have one question, and I don't know if there's an answer, but I still wonder why Dr. Light gave me this body in the first place.” 

Zero stayed quiet for a moment. X worried he would not say anything, but then, “Would it have been different if it was other way around? If he had given you a typical male-model body, what if you came out of stasis as a girl? He wouldn't have known, and I assume you were a blank slate until you awakened. If a gender wasn't programmed into you....well, perhaps Dr. Light wanted you to choose.”

X fell silent as he drank in those words, allowing them to penetrate the remaining coldness in his heart and sink into his framework. Finally content with himself and the world, X drifted into sleep mode to the sound of Zero's breathing. 

The ability to chose....that was the basis of free will, was it not? Even if there was a better answer out there, X was satisfied with the one he had.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been replaying Mega Man games all Summer, and these boys are such powerful muses. The story really got away from me—what I hoped would be around 4.5k words nearly doubled in length. I am very excited to publish this fic, so I hope you all enjoy it!


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